Hard work

Sometimes I feel my prayers come, up empty. I pray - nothing happens. I pray some more - some more nothing happens. It feels like work...hard work!!

“...we worked hard all last night and did not catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” Luke 5:5 NLB

I come up empty handed...my nets are worn, wet and empty!

I know the feeling of a sleepless, fishless night?

For what have I been casting?
Faith? “I want to believe, but…”
Healing? “She's been sick so long…”
A wayward child? “No matter what I do…”
I have worked hard all night and caught nothing!!!

I have felt what Peter felt. I have sat where Peter sat. And now Jesus is asking me to go fishing. He knows my nets are empty. He knows my heart is weary. He knows I’d like nothing more than to turn my back on the mess and call it a life.
But he urges, “It’s not too late to try again.”
Peter’s reply helps me formulate my own reply to Jesus, “If you say so, I'll let the nets down again” (v.5).

Waiting for Blessings

I find it so hard to wait!

Waiting for a friend's planned visit. Waiting for a major event/holiday. Waiting for a job offer. Waiting for the birth of a baby. Waiting for pain to end. Waiting for answered prayer. Waiting...

I was reading in Habakkuk (who reads Habakkuk? :>} )I love the Old Testament!

"This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." Habakkuk 2:3

My dad believes in the "Nick of Time" theology. He believes God never comes too early (because then we wouldn't know it was Him,) and He NEVER comes late.

The Bible always reminds me that God has a specific timetable that He uses to accomplish His purpose in my life. Sometimes that timetable seems excruciatingly slow, cruel and painful, but...always needful. I know God has a storehouse of blessings He has reserved for me, but my timing to receive His blessings is not the same as the Lord's timing.

When I think about Joseph and the time he spent as a slave, wrongly accused, thrown into prison and forgotten...I would be trying to second-guess what God was doing in my life! If I were Joseph I would go over and over the dreams of my youth, the mistreatment by my family, my wasted years as a slave, years spent in prison...what on earth was God thinking...clearly not about me! Or was HE?

I like to think my "character" is in order. My own self-assessment gives me pretty high marks, and I know God has taken much time over my lifetime to develop my character. But..I also know He's not finished correcting me and my character flaws (no matter my own self assessment). I even believe some of my "blessings" have been delayed due to my refusal to be corrected.

I want to be able to "motivate" God on my timetable. Something needs to happen...yet sometimes He keeps me right where I am. Nothing is moving or happening and it feels as if my whole life is at a standstill...or moving at a snails pace. I begin to feel discontent and wonder if God is evening listening. I want my circumstances changed...I want my life changed!

I believe Joseph had come to a place with God where he resigned himself to remain wherever God had chosen to keep him. He had become dead to his circumstances. I don't think that means I can't long for better days, but there is a Godly contentment that allows me to remain in any condition with a peace that passes all understanding.

Even though it is sometimes difficult to understand, the Lord is just and gracious in His dealings with me. When He does move on my behalf I know I will appreciate any delay and may even better understand the reasons for that delay. I know without doubt the Lord longs to be gracious to me. He rises to show me compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him! (Isaiah 20:18)

I will wait...my dreams...I ask the Lord for His grace to sustain me. I know it will be worth the wait!

Bluebonnets & Spring

All of Spring proclaims the hope God gives our heart...

"Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air." Song of Solomon 2:1-12.This is my favorite time of year...it's the time of year my yard erupts with blue...Texas bluebonnets! I'm sure it's a mixed blessing for my neighbors. They all love the flowers and the photo opportunities for their children, grandchildren and dogs...yes, dogs. But, to create all this lovely chaos I have to let the flowers go to seed at the end of the season. The bluebonnets have to be able to drop their seeds, which means they have to be allowed to get big, leggy and turn brown. It's usually several weeks before all the seeds drop, and it's an agonizing time to see my yard look so terrible and know the neighbors are probably cursing me at that moment.

The bluebonnets are a reminder of God's faithfulness...

"If God cares so wonderfully for flowers...won't He more surely care for you?" Matthew 6:30

I know God cares for me...even in my unlovely state! He sees me at my best and at my worst. He knows my heart and yet His love is constant and His mercies for me are new every morning...every single morning!

I put my trust in God and nothing is too hard for Him and He has much bigger goals for me than just solving my personal problems. He wants me to KNOW Him—and along the way that changes me!

"Your mercy and your love now fills my life, And I will never be the same again."

Blame

Yesterday I had a lengthy conversation with my BFF-RT. It seems there are so many around us that are hurting and in trouble. How do we help them? Sometimes I feel frustrated...there just appear to be no options on our part to help.

Yesterday's conversation centered on her sweet niece who is suffering from a serious bout of depression. Why her? Why so young? Who can we blame for this situation? Was it her fault? Her parent's fault? School pressures? There has to be someone to blame about this situation! BUT...maybe there is no one to blame...it's just one of those things that happen.

The truth is that God continually reminds me that HE has the power to change this situation immediately, so it doesn't matter if anyone is at fault, God is still in control.

“Teacher,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?” “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “He was born blind so the power of God could be seen in him.” (John 9:2-3 NLT)

In this scripture the disciples were looking for someone to blame for the blind man's situation. Maybe he was blind because he sinned? Maybe his blindness was caused by something his parents did?

The disciples, like me, asked the wrong questions...there was no one they could pin the blame on or point a finger to assign blame. It's so much easier to look for that "someone" we can blame. But Jesus said they were to look instead for what God can do! (John 9:1-4 Message)

"So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective." (Colossians 3:1-2 )

Look for what God can do!

God is faithful. He has everything under control and we are safest when we stay in obedience to Him! He wants to give good gifts to His children (Luke 11:9-13)...but He wants us to trust Him and be content in whatever circumstances we are in (Philippians 4:12). Not easy to remember in the midst of my pain!

Why do I forget that God is not surprised by my circumstances, or the circumstances of those I love? He could change them immediately...so instead of asking "Why me?' I need to ask "What does He want me to do in this circumstance?" "What is He trying to teach me?"

I expend so much of my energy looking for a way out of my pain...someone to blame and lash out at to alleviate my hurt. Yet, lovingly, God is calling me to expend my energy on deepening my relationship with Him. He wants to draw me ever closer in my relationship with Him to teach me to have His heart in all circumstances.

Life is hard! Yet, God's love shines on those of us who are seeking Him with our whole heart and His love also shines on those who are running scared from Him. "Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?” (Job 2:10b) He loves us so deeply and He's looking to see how we will act in this adversity.

How will I try to "squirm" out of my trials? Will I choose to press into them and see God's hand on my life? Will I remember that God loves me...that He wants to show me my faults to enrich my relationship with Him? Or, do I let anger and bitterness take root? Do I believe the lie that something precious and essential has been taken from me? (I deserve so much better!) Do I believe the lie that there is no way out of this? I'm trapped in this experience?

I KNOW I have to monitor my thinking. How I interpret my circumstances will determine how I will react to them. Catastrophic thinking minimizes my blessings and maximizes my losses.

Everyday I am harvesting what I have previously planted and everyday I'm planting seeds I will eventually harvest. I need to plant new seeds to harvest. What I have sowed into my life in the past is what I am currently reaping. (Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life. Galatians 6: 7-8)

Who's to blame? Is there an easy answer? I don't think so... Maybe this is my opportunity to "Look for what GOD can do!" Maybe the way I pray for RT's niece is to ask God to be glorified in the situation...not necessarily for relief?

Lord, I don't want to be distracted from my purpose or from the tasks You want me to complete before the “night falls.” (John 9:4). Show me how to pray for those that are hurting...

Risks

Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of … Luke 19:26 (MSG)

"In order to obey God, you need to take risks. Risk is the substance of faith because it requires you to take Step 1 before you see Step 2. Risk compels you to action, even when there seems to be no guarantee of what will be on the other side of your choice."

I like to think of myself as a risk taker, but sometimes putting myself in situations where I'm just "out there" is a risk I'm not always willing to take. This blog, for example...way out of my comfort zone!

I'm a background person. I love working silently and busily in the background, not wanting to risk putting myself in a situation that would cause me to be criticized...or on the flip side, also not allowing praise...invisible. That's how I see myself. But that's OK with me. Is it OK with God?

Invisible - is God asking me to risk my identity...my comfort zone so He can give me a new identity? Is He asking me to become visible so I might be present and available to those around me? Large or small, God uses risks to move me from living by sight to living by faith. God wants me to follow Him...to take my direction from the Holy Spirit and give up my independent, invisible ways to become dependent on Him and His direction.

Can I risk this? No matter!! God is there, on the other side of risk! Always calling me...cheering me on, asking me to struggle with risking myself to struggle to "work out my salvation." Philippians 2:12

God is in my choices - He is on the other side of my choices. He is in my risks...always calling me to risk even more. The more I risk the more I give Him authority over my life, authority over my choices, authority to work all things for the good (Romans 8:28), with plans to help me and not to hurt me (Jeremiah 29:11). Am I risking all for Him? Am I willing?

I'm willing to risk.

Re-arranging my life for Him!